Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Week in the Life of Liam

I love watching Liam discover all kinds of new things every day. It is so delightful to see his eyes light up at the simplest of activities and objects which had become so mundane and ordinary to me. He helps me rediscover wonder in all the little things I often take for granted. We had a good week together.
Here are some highlights:



Learning to splash in the toilet (followed promptly with a bath!)

Eating a whole banana in one meal, accompanied by squeals of joy

Accompanying Mommy to a Stroller Buddies exercise class and getting his first kiss from a girl his age*

A romp through hay and among the pumpkins at the Dallas Arboretum with a photographer friend

Opening and shutting all kinds of things like kitchen cabinets and drawers

Taking his first trip to the zoo (he was more interested in dirt and rocks than the animals)

Trying to figure out the endlessly fascinating invention that is an electric fan

Staring longingly at outlets on the wall that Mommy tells him not to touch

Learning to eat apple slices by watching his next-door-neighbor Aiden (2 1/2 year-old)

Figuring out how to play his toy piano and dancing to the music he makes

Unwinding the toilet paper rolls over and over again

Becoming ever cuter and eliciting great delight and affection from Mommy and Daddy


* The little girl from exercise class is 18 months old. She liked Liam and walked over to him, patted him on the head, and then bent down to hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek, which he eagerly received. He responded by grinning and pulling her face towards his to give her a big, wet kiss on the lips. She managed to wedge her hand in between their mouths just in the nick of time! What a tease!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Lessons in Patience (or Sleep Don't Come Easy)

It is our own "accidental parenting" mistake (so called by the "Baby Whisperer" Tracy Hogg) that caused it but now we are paying the price, me (Katie) in particular. We travelled with Liam to Halifax and Prince Edward Island recently, which was a wonderful vacation but it got Liam off a regular schedule. The odds were stacked against his being able to sleep well with two full days of travelling, three different sleeping locations, numerous new faces, a two hour time difference, and severe teething pain. So, we resorted to long walks with the stroller and more nursing than normal to help him sleep. And it only takes two or three days to develop a bad habit...much longer to break it.

Upon our return, Liam fully expected his long walks to continue as well as breastmilk on demand. And it just wasn't gonna happen here in the Dallas heat with a mother eager to continue the process of weaning him. It was time to get used to falling asleep on his own in his crib again. A heck of a lot easier said than done, let me tell you. It's now been three weeks and it has been a looong battle of wills at every nap, every bedtime. There is much weeping and nashing of teeth, and Liam gets pretty upset too.

Thankfully, I got some good advice from my sister-in-law Stephanie and found the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (By Helping You to Ask the Right Questions) by Tracy Hogg. To break a bad habit related to sleep, it takes major committment on the part of the parents. We're talking at least a week of really intense persistance in helping your child to learn to fall asleep on his own all over again. So, I am on day 2 right now, and it's really hard but it works. Liam's making progress, and I can feel my character growing in leaps and bounds.

A typical day includes wake up at 7 am followed by breakfast and play. Along comes 9 o'clock and it's time to feed Liam. He falls asleep while nursing but can never stay asleep when I move him to his crib. There are about 5 minutes of crying and then back to playtime. By the time it's 10:15, he's exhausted. I go through the getting-ready-for-sleepy-time ritual of a couple of stories, songs, and lights out. I lay him in his crib, and that's when the battle begins. He immediately pulls himself up on the rail and cries. I put him back down again and pat him and tell him it's sleepy time and that I will stay with him to help him fall asleep. We repeat this about 30 times. Then, the crying intensifies. "Maaaa maaaa!" he pleads, testing my determination to the very core. His face covered with snot and tears, he looks at me with desperation, shaking with sobs. I can't do this, I think to myself. Look at him, he needs me. But I remind myself that this is for his benefit and mine.

Basically this is no different than every day the past three weeks except that this time I am determined to stay with him and I now refuse not to cave in and take him for a stroll. According to Tracy Hogg, if I were to leave the room and let him cry it out, it would only increase his fear and make him feel abandoned. When I'm there, the tears are from frustration at having to fall asleep in a new way. If I were to leave, the tears flow out of fear of abandonment just when he needs me most.

So I stay...and I bend over the crib rail, gently stroking him, whispering "Shhhh, shhh, you will be ok. You can fall asleep, and I will be here to help you. You will feel much better when you have had a nap." The crying and getting up and getting put back down continue. All this goes on for about an hour and 15 minutes. He finally falls asleep at last!! The first day, his naps lasted 45 minutes. Today, the morning nap lasted an hour and 15 minutes. We're making progress.

Doing this with Liam three times a day (morning nap, afternoon nap, and bedtime) is taking up pretty much all my time. But I'm not as worn down as I was before I got the resolve from the Baby Whisperer plan. I am winning battles and making headway with him. Each time I help him fall asleep on his own, I feel energized, like I really accomplished something important.

All this is teaching me a lot. I never knew I had such patience in me... I think it's coming from God actually. I've been praying for it a lot more lately! And I'm learning about sticking it out with someone who is suffering (albeit, in his own baby way) and who thinks they can't make it. I'm watching perseverance pay off and there are all kinds of applications for my spiritual life there. It makes me realize the payoff of discipline and helps me fight the urge to eat another cookie and resist the temptation to get off the treadmill a couple of minutes too soon. Mostly, it reminds me of how patient God is with me and how his perseverance will eventually win out over my stubbornity in all kinds of areas. Thank the Lord for sticking it out.